Hello friends,
Well, as hard as it is to believe, I'm sitting in my packed up and cleaned out room, ready for what will be the last night I spend in Palmgarten Dorm.
And it's gotten me thinking about lasts.
This month has been a long series of them--last room checks, last hot lunches, last load of student laundry, last cucumber sliced. It's a surreal feeling. This dorm has been nearly my entire life for the past three years, and it's strange to think that in 12 hours, I'll be taking out my trash and handing in my key for the last time.
My heart is pretty weary of the rollercoaster ride it's been on with all the lasts. Some of the last occurrences, like dorm cleaning, I finished with relief and a cheer of "Praise the Lord I'm done with that." Other lasts, like the last time I sat on my sophomores' floor and talked and said goodnight, or the last time I hugged my seniors goodbye at graduation, left me feeling like I'd been punched in the stomach.
But now that I'm sitting here in an empty dorm, 50-pound suitcases poised in the middle of my floor, the waves of my emotions have calmed, and I'm thinking about what this place has been, what I have learned, and what God has done over these last three years.
The last night that Katie and I were in the dorm together, we went through each of the rooms, sat on the beds, and remembered each girl. Stories that made us laugh, memories that made us cry, ways that we had seen maturity and growth, ways that reminded us to continue to pray for God to work.
My girls haven't been perfect. And God and everyone in this dorm can testify that I haven't been either. But God has been working here. He has used the girls, my fellow staff members, and (somehow, only by his grace) me to reflect his love and his truth in this dorm. I am so grateful for Palmgarten and the people in it, but mostly I'm grateful for the Savior who carried me (some days almost literally) through each day of life here.
Lasts. Forgive the wordplay, but this whole thought process has gotten me thinking about work and legacy that lasts. I look around the dorm and I'm already beginning to see my fingerprints and "touches" fading. My organizational systems aren't being used anymore, the posters I hung are gone, the furniture I placed has been rearranged, and the walls that I decorated have fresh coats of paint. Just looking around at the building, it's hard to see that I was even here--what if the last three years haven't made any difference at all, and this place will go back to what it was, or move on to something new once I'm gone? David acknowledged this reality in Psalm 103 when he said, "The life of mortals is like grass; he flourishes like the flowers of the field, the wind blows over it, and the place remembers it no more." Which, if it ended there, would be pretty depressing. If I left this place believing that the only impact I had on this dorm was my use of the label maker, I would be pretty discouraged. But that's not where David ends, and it's not where my thoughts end. "But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting." My days, my tears, my work, my life here at Palmgarten have been about one thing: doing my very best to put the love of Jesus on display for these girls. And many days, that meant trying not to let my selfishness and sin get in the way. But that is what I hope my legacy will be: the love of Jesus Christ. I haven't always done a great job at that, but I hope that the Lord redeems my imperfect offering and uses it in a way that lasts.
Well, I hope that wasn't too jumbled. This blog post could probably have used some edits, but it's midnight and I need to get up and catch a plane tomorrow. Thanks for reading, for praying, and for supporting me this year! I'm including some photos of graduation and the last days in the dorm.
I should probably finish this post by saying that even though I'm leaving the dorm, I'm REALLY excited to be staying at BFA next year. (By way of a reminder, I'll be teaching acting classes and directing the High School and Middle school plays.) This community is precious to me, and I'm looking forward to continuing to build the relationships with my Palmies, as well as developing new relationships with students and staff at the school. I'm excited (and nervous) to teach, I'm PUMPED (and terrified) to direct, and I'm honored that I still get to minister to these students and missionary families.
Thank you so much for partnering with me in my adventures and ministry here at BFA so far--I'm looking forward to continuing the adventures next year...but first, is it okay if we have summer time? I need to catch up on some sleep.
Love and prayers,
Amanda
PS: I realize that this post doesn't actually include any stories of what's actually happened in the dorm this past month. I'm sorry about that--let's catch up when I'm back in the USA over the summer and I'll fill you in on the stories, happenings, and mishaps of the last month of school. :)
Well, as hard as it is to believe, I'm sitting in my packed up and cleaned out room, ready for what will be the last night I spend in Palmgarten Dorm.
And it's gotten me thinking about lasts.
This month has been a long series of them--last room checks, last hot lunches, last load of student laundry, last cucumber sliced. It's a surreal feeling. This dorm has been nearly my entire life for the past three years, and it's strange to think that in 12 hours, I'll be taking out my trash and handing in my key for the last time.
My heart is pretty weary of the rollercoaster ride it's been on with all the lasts. Some of the last occurrences, like dorm cleaning, I finished with relief and a cheer of "Praise the Lord I'm done with that." Other lasts, like the last time I sat on my sophomores' floor and talked and said goodnight, or the last time I hugged my seniors goodbye at graduation, left me feeling like I'd been punched in the stomach.
But now that I'm sitting here in an empty dorm, 50-pound suitcases poised in the middle of my floor, the waves of my emotions have calmed, and I'm thinking about what this place has been, what I have learned, and what God has done over these last three years.
The last night that Katie and I were in the dorm together, we went through each of the rooms, sat on the beds, and remembered each girl. Stories that made us laugh, memories that made us cry, ways that we had seen maturity and growth, ways that reminded us to continue to pray for God to work.
My girls haven't been perfect. And God and everyone in this dorm can testify that I haven't been either. But God has been working here. He has used the girls, my fellow staff members, and (somehow, only by his grace) me to reflect his love and his truth in this dorm. I am so grateful for Palmgarten and the people in it, but mostly I'm grateful for the Savior who carried me (some days almost literally) through each day of life here.
Well, I hope that wasn't too jumbled. This blog post could probably have used some edits, but it's midnight and I need to get up and catch a plane tomorrow. Thanks for reading, for praying, and for supporting me this year! I'm including some photos of graduation and the last days in the dorm.
I should probably finish this post by saying that even though I'm leaving the dorm, I'm REALLY excited to be staying at BFA next year. (By way of a reminder, I'll be teaching acting classes and directing the High School and Middle school plays.) This community is precious to me, and I'm looking forward to continuing to build the relationships with my Palmies, as well as developing new relationships with students and staff at the school. I'm excited (and nervous) to teach, I'm PUMPED (and terrified) to direct, and I'm honored that I still get to minister to these students and missionary families.
Thank you so much for partnering with me in my adventures and ministry here at BFA so far--I'm looking forward to continuing the adventures next year...but first, is it okay if we have summer time? I need to catch up on some sleep.
Love and prayers,
Amanda
PS: I realize that this post doesn't actually include any stories of what's actually happened in the dorm this past month. I'm sorry about that--let's catch up when I'm back in the USA over the summer and I'll fill you in on the stories, happenings, and mishaps of the last month of school. :)
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| Nat and Sia at the Senior Tribute photobooth |
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| My beautiful seniors, ready to graduate! |
May the joy of the Lord continue to be your strength. You have made a difference. Many in this world are changed because of your love and investment in their lives. Come home; your bed is ready.
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