Hello all,
Every January when I was growing up, I had a writing assignment called "Looking Forward, Looking Back." As I recall, the main gist of it was to spend a paragraph reflecting on highlights from the previous year, then another paragraph speculating and sharing what I was excited about in the year to come.
That's essentially what this post is going to be. I'm going to reflect on some lessons I've learned this year, then share a little bit about what next year might look like. "Looking Forward, Looking Back," postgrad edition. If you'd rather just skip to the highlights, feel free to scroll to the bottom and check out the pictures, highlighting a couple events from the end of my school year.
LOOKING BACK: Lessons Learned
I include a section like this in every year-end blogpost, and every year I'm tempted to cut it. After all, I feel like I'm always learning (or failing to learn) the same lessons, and how often does anyone want to hear me re-hash the same old things? But I'm going to share these lessons anyway, and here's why: it's a humbling annual reminder that I have not yet figured out this "being a missionary" thing, or even this "life with Jesus" thing, and by sharing what God is re-teaching me, I am acknowledging my brokenness and dependence on His grace. And I hope that it may serve as an encouraging reminder to all of us that God is patient and faithful and that, even when we forget his lessons, He's willing to take our hands and show us. Again.
Lesson 1: God is faithful and he is enough.
I should probably be embarrassed to still be learning this one. But you know, I'm not. I'm just floored by it. This year has been full of great things (plays, and classes, and laughter, and weekend trips, and conversations that left me laughing, crying, and better than when I started). And it has also been full of hard things (goodbyes, and failures, and hurtful words, and loneliness, and fear). But in all of those things, God has been with me, guiding and protecting me. Not because I'm useful or important or good at life. Just because he wants to, because I'm his kid, and because he loves me. Isn't that just the most basic, most mind-blowing thing? I hope I never stop getting reminded of this lesson--even if it means life will always be full of hard things.
Lesson 2: If I'm not praying, everything I do is worthless.
This might sound hyperbolic, but I'm serious. I was convicted this year of trying way too hard to do way too much with way too little prayer. I would counsel people based on my own wisdom and logic. Surprise, that was useless. I would interact with disrespectful students or try to maintain order in a chaotic group of middle school students just by gritting my teeth and bearing it. Surprise again. That was useless, too. I've learned that if I really care about reflecting Christ, and allowing Him to work in the lives of the people around me, I need to be praying. Not just a daily checklist prayer, or asking for stuff prayer. Actual, constant communication with my Creator prayer. That's when He starts to do things.
Lesson 3: Listening and responding to the Holy Spirit is a daily choice, and it's not always easy.
This lesson naturally flows from Lesson #2. I need to be praying all the time, and I need to choose to do it every day. I might have seen God work or heard Him speak or experienced His presence yesterday. That's great. But now it's today, and I get to make that choice again. To intentionally commit all of my conversations, my classes, my rehearsals, and my activities to Him. And to pay attention to how He might nudge me in all those things. And hey, this is a great mercy, too. Because if I was a total screw up yesterday, or for the last hundred yesterdays, now it's today. And I get to choose to pursue Him today. Remember Lesson #1? He's faithful. He's still here, and He's still speaking. And I am learning to listen.
LOOKING FORWARD: What's Coming Next?
This feels like a dangerous section to write. Mostly because I'm sure that whatever I type here will be wrong, or at least incomplete. As you'll recall, at this time last year, I wrote about how I would be finishing my time at BFA this year and was praying about what life after Black Forest Academy would look like for me. I didn't know anything except that I wouldn't be in Germany anymore. Well...turns out even that was wrong, because here I am, packing up my backpack and gearing up for Year 6 in the Black Forest. As noted above, I am always re-learning that God is faithful and His ideas are better than mine, so I'm excited to extend my time teaching and directing at BFA. But God also has a funny habit of screwing up my plans, so whatever I write here...I'm holding it with a pretty open hand.
"Plans" For this Year, or Something Like That
This year I'll be continuing to direct and teach High School Theatre at BFA. I'm excited to direct my first musical with the high school, and I'm looking forward to continuing to grow the theatre program. (BFA kids reading this: I know. You were hoping I would tell you what musical we're doing. But nope, you're just going to have to wait and see.)
I'll also be stepping back into the Public Speaking classroom and giving up my Spanish classes. As much as I grew to love teaching language, and I'll miss playing Review Jeopardy and Vocabulary Bingo, I am excited to teach Public Speaking again and help these students develop their communication skills. Who knows--maybe I'll make them give their speeches in Spanish, just for fun.
I'm starting grad school in the fall. In August, I'll begin a two-year MA in Theatre program with Regent University. While the idea of stepping back onto the receiving end of homework and deadlines and textbooks makes me a little nervous, I'm very much looking forward to building my knowledge and skills in directing, design, playwriting, and production. It will make me a better teacher and director right now, and I suspect it will open exciting doors for me in the future. I could hazard a guess as to what those doors are, but as we've established: I'm not very good at guessing God's plans. So I'm going to hold out on sharing my speculations for now.
PHOTO HIGHLIGHTS OF THE SPRING
So there's that! Thanks for joining me on this little jaunt through my reflections and speculations. But more so, thank you for joining me in my life and work at BFA. I am constantly grateful for the prayers, support, and friendship that you have offered over my years here. And I'm looking forward to continuing to share my lessons, foiled plans, and adventures with you.
Grace to you,
ajr
Every January when I was growing up, I had a writing assignment called "Looking Forward, Looking Back." As I recall, the main gist of it was to spend a paragraph reflecting on highlights from the previous year, then another paragraph speculating and sharing what I was excited about in the year to come.
That's essentially what this post is going to be. I'm going to reflect on some lessons I've learned this year, then share a little bit about what next year might look like. "Looking Forward, Looking Back," postgrad edition. If you'd rather just skip to the highlights, feel free to scroll to the bottom and check out the pictures, highlighting a couple events from the end of my school year.
LOOKING BACK: Lessons Learned
I include a section like this in every year-end blogpost, and every year I'm tempted to cut it. After all, I feel like I'm always learning (or failing to learn) the same lessons, and how often does anyone want to hear me re-hash the same old things? But I'm going to share these lessons anyway, and here's why: it's a humbling annual reminder that I have not yet figured out this "being a missionary" thing, or even this "life with Jesus" thing, and by sharing what God is re-teaching me, I am acknowledging my brokenness and dependence on His grace. And I hope that it may serve as an encouraging reminder to all of us that God is patient and faithful and that, even when we forget his lessons, He's willing to take our hands and show us. Again.
Lesson 1: God is faithful and he is enough.
I should probably be embarrassed to still be learning this one. But you know, I'm not. I'm just floored by it. This year has been full of great things (plays, and classes, and laughter, and weekend trips, and conversations that left me laughing, crying, and better than when I started). And it has also been full of hard things (goodbyes, and failures, and hurtful words, and loneliness, and fear). But in all of those things, God has been with me, guiding and protecting me. Not because I'm useful or important or good at life. Just because he wants to, because I'm his kid, and because he loves me. Isn't that just the most basic, most mind-blowing thing? I hope I never stop getting reminded of this lesson--even if it means life will always be full of hard things.
Lesson 2: If I'm not praying, everything I do is worthless.
This might sound hyperbolic, but I'm serious. I was convicted this year of trying way too hard to do way too much with way too little prayer. I would counsel people based on my own wisdom and logic. Surprise, that was useless. I would interact with disrespectful students or try to maintain order in a chaotic group of middle school students just by gritting my teeth and bearing it. Surprise again. That was useless, too. I've learned that if I really care about reflecting Christ, and allowing Him to work in the lives of the people around me, I need to be praying. Not just a daily checklist prayer, or asking for stuff prayer. Actual, constant communication with my Creator prayer. That's when He starts to do things.
Lesson 3: Listening and responding to the Holy Spirit is a daily choice, and it's not always easy.
This lesson naturally flows from Lesson #2. I need to be praying all the time, and I need to choose to do it every day. I might have seen God work or heard Him speak or experienced His presence yesterday. That's great. But now it's today, and I get to make that choice again. To intentionally commit all of my conversations, my classes, my rehearsals, and my activities to Him. And to pay attention to how He might nudge me in all those things. And hey, this is a great mercy, too. Because if I was a total screw up yesterday, or for the last hundred yesterdays, now it's today. And I get to choose to pursue Him today. Remember Lesson #1? He's faithful. He's still here, and He's still speaking. And I am learning to listen.
LOOKING FORWARD: What's Coming Next?
This feels like a dangerous section to write. Mostly because I'm sure that whatever I type here will be wrong, or at least incomplete. As you'll recall, at this time last year, I wrote about how I would be finishing my time at BFA this year and was praying about what life after Black Forest Academy would look like for me. I didn't know anything except that I wouldn't be in Germany anymore. Well...turns out even that was wrong, because here I am, packing up my backpack and gearing up for Year 6 in the Black Forest. As noted above, I am always re-learning that God is faithful and His ideas are better than mine, so I'm excited to extend my time teaching and directing at BFA. But God also has a funny habit of screwing up my plans, so whatever I write here...I'm holding it with a pretty open hand.
"Plans" For this Year, or Something Like That
This year I'll be continuing to direct and teach High School Theatre at BFA. I'm excited to direct my first musical with the high school, and I'm looking forward to continuing to grow the theatre program. (BFA kids reading this: I know. You were hoping I would tell you what musical we're doing. But nope, you're just going to have to wait and see.)
I'll also be stepping back into the Public Speaking classroom and giving up my Spanish classes. As much as I grew to love teaching language, and I'll miss playing Review Jeopardy and Vocabulary Bingo, I am excited to teach Public Speaking again and help these students develop their communication skills. Who knows--maybe I'll make them give their speeches in Spanish, just for fun.
I'm starting grad school in the fall. In August, I'll begin a two-year MA in Theatre program with Regent University. While the idea of stepping back onto the receiving end of homework and deadlines and textbooks makes me a little nervous, I'm very much looking forward to building my knowledge and skills in directing, design, playwriting, and production. It will make me a better teacher and director right now, and I suspect it will open exciting doors for me in the future. I could hazard a guess as to what those doors are, but as we've established: I'm not very good at guessing God's plans. So I'm going to hold out on sharing my speculations for now.
PHOTO HIGHLIGHTS OF THE SPRING
Senior Girls' Tea!
These ladies were freshmen and sophomores when I first met them, and I can't believe they're all grown up and graduated.
BFA HS Theatre Awards!
It has been a joy to teach and direct and work with these talented young women, and I loved having the opportunity to honor their skill and dedication in the theatre. (Or theater, if you prefer.)
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Graduation!
You know you have the best job in the world when graduation is the hardest day of the year. I sure will miss these (and dozens of others with whom I don't have a picture) wonderful students, and I am very proud of them. What a joy it's been to know them.
**I am not a faithful photographer, so events not pictured include: BFA's first One Act Festival, The Actors' Showcase, final project presentations in Spanish classes, or a dozen other things that I didn't manage to capture on film.**
So there's that! Thanks for joining me on this little jaunt through my reflections and speculations. But more so, thank you for joining me in my life and work at BFA. I am constantly grateful for the prayers, support, and friendship that you have offered over my years here. And I'm looking forward to continuing to share my lessons, foiled plans, and adventures with you.
Grace to you,
ajr
Amanda, you continue to teach students in the classroom and in life as well as teach adults like me with your faith "lessons." Thank you. I'm glad you are teaching communications because you are a fabulous writer and communicator!
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